I wanna name a beer and call it “Responsibly” so other alcoholic beverages will advertise my beer. “Drink responsibly.”

haven’t been on here in a really long time, but then someone sent me this:

http://ridiculouspicturesofcelinedion.tumblr.com/

and i remembered i had a tumblr. hello, world! 

There’s a lot chugging along in my brain these days. The last few months have been awesome, but insanely busy. I’ve definitely overextended myself. I can’t keep doing all of this stuff - I need to focus on a few of them and go from there. My relationships with friends and family have been strained, and I need to put more energy into my loved ones - my boyfriend, my sister, my nephew, my parents, my grandparents. I’m also frustrated with my apartment - not the size but the amount of stuff. As such, I’ve started taking steps - both in my workload and my living space. Hopefully all of these decisions will result in less chaos - or that I’ll at least be able to find those pants I like so much.

I have a lot of issues happening right now with regard to stress, to the point that I’m physically struggling. Part work, part school, part part-time work, part relationships. The first three are obvious - well, all four are, really. I initially thought strained relations with my boyfriend were the center. We took a break and came back together, seeing the love and strength within us that drew us in the first place. We’re more in love than ever before, facing each other, united.

So what does that leave? Part of it is “the small stuff” - the people and issues from the past that I just can’t quit. Part of it is the lack of trust so integral to maintaining these long-term friendships. And part of it is an inability to communicate my own feelings, insecurities, and misgivings about certain relationships.

As the end of the year draws near, I welcome the turning of a new leaf. We are all in constant flux. My only hope is that 2011 will bring with it the positive forces so absent in 2010. Though I will say one thing about it: these last few months with Mike have been some of the most magical of my life. Here’s hoping the magic overflows and continues to fill us these coming months.

People in wordfeud hate me. Either I’m not enough of a challenge and they scorn me, or I am ahead by so many points they resign. One woman - I know she is a woman because her username is misskay2u - challenged me several times. I beat here by a lot. Then she was beating me and I came back and won. Then I beat her by even more. And finally, she was beating me and I came back within one point and she…let the timer run out and immediately after tried to start a new game.

Competition is unhealthy. I shouldn’t get so wrapped up in issues with acquaintances - both work and personal - who encourage and drown in this sort of behavior. If you have to convince anyone you’re the blank at blank, you’re mainly trying to convince yourself.

Not that I’m not guilty. I’m just aware and trying to not be this way. But when the playground rules exist in every walk and age and experience, it’s sometimes hard not to chuck that dodgeball at the fat kid.

It’s 10 pm, I’m tired, this place is out of food and is super loud and obnoxious, and I generally hate my life right now. This shitty beer is doing nothing to keep this ravenous bad mood at bay. I just want to go the fuck home and pass out.

I am so incredibly lucky. I have some of the most amazing friends ever. They are beautiful. Wonderful. Magical. True.

My new phone gives me constant connection to my email. It’s like portable disappointment.

My life is a strange and interesting thing right now.

In my dreams, I used to flee some unknown horror. The last few nights, I’ve stood my ground against it, semi-automatic in hand. Either I’m getting a backbone against my fear or I’m playing too many shooters.